Take me with you
It’s been a full 49 days since you’ve been gone. Everyone believes I’ve been handling all this so well, but all this time, I’ve been in denial. It always feels like you’d be sitting on your couch reading the newspaper when I step through the front door. You’d ask me if I had work today and I’d end up sitting with you for hours just in silence enjoying each other’s company. We’d either watch the discovery/history channel or you’d read me my horoscope. Just the lucky/unlucky colors of the year though. You didn’t want me to be worried about my life. You’d read it and keep it to yourself. I’d ask you random questions and you’d tell me so many amazing stories about your younger days in Vietnam. Eventually you would start teasing me about my nail polish and how it should be a light pink shade or what a chicken I am, so scared of everything. You’ve always been my protector growing up. No matter it be a big Rottweiler lunging towards me or my nightly fears of sleeping alone as a child. Even at this age, you tried to protect me. I remember a few years back when I took you to Stanford for a checkup and a homeless guy was harassing me. You told me to get behind you like I did as a child, but I ended up telling the guy off. Oh grandpa, I miss you so much. We’ll always be together forever you said.
I know that I’m hard to love. Some days I’m all smiles and affection and then other days there’s nothing I want more than to be quiet and lie in bed.
Sometimes I get angry about stupid things and won’t want to talk to you. Other days I’ll think that you’re the most perfect person in the world.
Please don’t give up on me. I know it’s not easy but I’ll always come back to you.
"I admire people who have the ability to touch you and still be thousands of miles from your presence."